and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
