real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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