I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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