So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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