Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
