I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
