Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
