That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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