OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
