I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
