i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
