I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
