Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
