She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
