I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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