it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
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