well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
