Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
