i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
