It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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