Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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