Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
