Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He? As in you personified your dick?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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