I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
