Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
