I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
