i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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