return my video game
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
