Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
