yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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