You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
