what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
