He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
