i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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