You're completely useless in the revolution.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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