took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
