And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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