dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
