My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
