wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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