Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I've blown a few things in my day
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
