if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
