I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
