you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
