don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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