It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
