Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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