Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
