did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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