I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
