3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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