$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
