I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
