Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
